Tuesday, September 20, 2016

This is for YOU

This writing is for you who are in your mid 20’s—and older—but still feel discontent about your life, always feel that you haven’t achieved anything to be proud of.

This is for you who sometimes doubt about chasing your passion but too reluctant to do something that you hate doing.

This is for you who think that life is not as optimistic as you thought it was when you’re seven. You had never thought that you would have landed in your current situation.

This is for you who have decided to leave your comfort zone and now sometimes question whether it was the right decision.

This is for you who have failed and been rejected many times that you just want to give up.

This is for you who feel that every day is just another new low, no matter how hard you try to make things work.

This is for you who think that you could’ve been more than your friends with all your talents and skills, but at the present you don’t. And that hits your self-confidence.

This is for you who feel that anyone lives a much better life than you, including the welcome-girl/boy at the restaurant.

This is for you who feel like the whole universe conspire against you.

This is for you who hold a degree yet believe it’s a mistake.

This is for you who keep comparing yourself with others.

This is for you who feel like your parents and family think of you as directionless. And you sometimes feel that they could be right.

This is for you who feel bothered to tell people about yourself.

This is for you who keep telling people, “I’m okay”, when you’re not because you believe you can’t show people that you’re weak.

You, whoever and wherever you are, you’re not alone.

You are in a transition phase, okay? A transition to somewhere better and greater. This is just a phase. It’s temporary, no matter how long it will be, it’s temporary. It doesn’t define you and your future. Many people have been through this, if you’re never in this situation, it means you have no dreams. The poorest man is not without a cent, but without a dream.

But, only believing that it’s temporary is not enough, YOU have to make it temporary. No change will ever happen if you do not make it happen, if you’re just planning without execution, if you’re just laying on your bed all day, if you’re just hoping for a miracle (because it doesn’t exist!), if you’re just doing things unrelated to your dreams, if you let other things distract you from the big picture, if you just keep your eyes glued on social medias of the lives other people are trying to portray. Because it’s not only what you believe, it’s what you do.

Do not underestimate any little daily goals because they contribute to the big goals. Don’t underestimate yourself, you’ve been brave enough to leave what you believe you don’t want to see yourself in the future. No matter how hard it is now, it will still be better than doing something you don’t like. Youth is not forever, better spend it on something you like to remember.

This is not a matter of age, number or degree. No degree is better than others. You may have a degree in medicine but still fell discontent. Anyone can be in this situation. Because it’s a matter of personal dreams trapped in a phase.

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.
At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.
At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.
At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.
At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.
At age 28, Wayne Coyne (from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook.

You don’t need to burden yourself with the thoughts of being successful at such young age. It doesn’t matter if you can’t be a young college-dropped-out billionaire like Mark Zuckerberg. It doesn’t matter if you can’t publish any novels before 20 like Jane Austen. You are you, you are meant to be you. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Breathe, live, love, laugh, and believe, “This is just a phase. I was born to be adorable.”

Sunday, October 25, 2015

What we can learn from Tyrion Lannister’s life

If you follow The Game of Thrones series, you must know this man because he’s the joy of the show where it’s full of cruelty, killings, betrayals and female nudity—one of the reasons why it’s in most men’s watch-lists.

Of all the noble houses, The Lannisters are my favorite because The Starks are full of boring naïves and Targaryen is left with no one but Daenerys (sure she’s awesome!) but the other family members and are only known by stories. The Lannisters are very rich, proud of themselves, has the coolest family sign, and even though the members of the family have one trait that connects them all (the cocky side), each family member is different, it’s like many kinds of personalities in one house; Tywin the cold-yet-cool ego-blinder villain, Cersei the beautiful and (actually) smart woman who’s trapped in a man’s world then turned mean and hateful, Jaime the not-really-bad bad person, Jeoffrey the total douche bag, and the one and only wit and wise Tyrion!

Tyrion is born with physical imperfection, people call him names; half man, imp and dwarf. His mother passed away giving birth to him that makes his father and sister blame him for the death. He’s a disappointment to the family, in the beginning of the show, he spent his days whoring, drinking with his family’s money until the war (and also the whore named ‘Shae’) made him change. Yet, he’s smart, wise, kind-hearted, and very talented in sarcasm. His journey so far has many lessons that we can take, both the wise and the sillies:

1.     The importance of accepting your flaws and asset-based thinking
Tyrion is over the phase of looking for external validation (though sometimes his father’s heartless words disturb him). He accepts the flaws he’s born with and instead of wasting time trying to be and do what other normal men in the kingdoms are doing (learning how to fight and kill), he reads to improve his knowledge and gain his self his kind of dignity. He knows that he’s not born for swords, that’s why he plays with words instead.

2.     Always bring the air of coolness in every situation
He’s always one inch to losing his head, but he’s always able to look at the fun side of every situation. It’s a rare quality in a person, to laugh at the bad lucks and not being dramatic (too long). I remember one scene in the first season when he was threatened to die. Equipped with weapons and in larger number, the gang asked him, “How do you like to die?”. Tyrion replied, “On my bed with women in my d*ck”. OMG, you’re crazy Tyrion and I’m crazy for you!

3.     Do not ever fall in love with whores
Even wise person does unwise thing. His misfortune in love life is because of his own choice. Whores are meant to do whoring, not loving. Asking a prostitute for a hug is like buying a healthy salad at McDonald’s. Loyalty is expensive, it never comes from cheap people.

4.     If you want to make the world a better place, be the ruler, not the Maester of Coins
Just like in the real world, the chaos roots from the existence of wrong people in the power. Too many bad people doing politics that makes politics seem bad. It’s not the field, but the players. We need to get more good people in power. Being the employee can’t do much, you need to be the man who sets the rule.

5.     Refusing a woman’s invitation to bed is dangerous
LOL. But seriously, Tyrion makes few mistakes by refusing Shae’s seduction to bed. Look what happens to him after that, leads him to Trial by Combat! Once again, near-death experience. Learn from that, husbands!

NOTE TO MEN: ‘woman” in the context refers to YOUR woman, NOT any women. Do not use that for your own advantage. :p

6.     In love, if it feels too good to be true, then it probably is
Tyrion has fallen truly in love twice in his life but both are horrors in the end. If it’s too good to be true, there must be something wrong. You’re probably missing some clues and couldn’t see the bad is coming. Be careful of sweet and smooth beginnings, they often come in package with the worst endings.

In the end, I'm just like most other GoT followers, if George R.R Martin kills Tyrion like he did to other major characters, then I'll stop watching it.

Valar Morghulis!!

Friday, August 21, 2015

Am I too old to understand these feminist statements or they’re just matter-of-factly weird?

Do you know what makes life colorful and interesting? The answer is not Pentel crayons, or cartoon, or money. It’s the existence of women that makes the world not boring. We, women, always have ways to make the world turn to us. When men disagree, they tend to fight. On the other hand, women are far more creative to show their objections, for instance: braless rally.

Due to bitter history the gender has undergone, women strive for equality in many forms of defiance actions. We demand the same right and freedom as men can get, from education opportunity, political rights to self-expression freedom. It seems that today’s feminist generation puts more focus on body-conscious statement rather than other women-related concerns even though until now there are still gender preference and discrimination in the work-osphere. We’re sick and tired of obeying the tiresome beauty standards and seemingly demand the EXACT same right for physical image expression and want men to agree with it. For example, they say, if it’s okay for men to be topless then so is for women (which must be very welcomed by men). They—now I change the pronoun—also want men to accept all women’s human-nature conditions without asking women to give effort to change them, from “all body types are beautiful” campaign to the eyebrow-raising stance of unshaven armpits and pubic hair. But have we—or probably they—gone too far in the name of ‘raising awareness’ for self-expression equality and freedom?

I totally believe that all women are beautiful and unique in their own bodies, complexion, shapes, etc. and we should not be pressured by the beauty standards set by men. I support that we all should be given equal rights and opportunity in many aspects of life. I object the ancient stereotypical description on women made by male authors. I disrespect all the men who still proudly underestimate our sex. But showing off vibrant-colored-armpits and unshaven pubic hair?? Count me out.

As also a part of the sex, even I am often startled by some statements and campaigns meant to raise awareness. Nowadays, it sounds exaggerated to name #Dyedpits phenomenon the weirdest feminist movement. Teenagers post their photos in bikinis with their pubic hair sticking out from their bikinis. A woman joined London marathon without tampon to raise awareness, the cause is called #FreeBleeding. Their ideas are that menstruation is natural and should not be hidden and that tampons and pads are MAN-made inventions intended to inadvertently rape a woman during her period. How unbelievable!!

These movements are serious movements, I mean, they really mean it. Each movement has sites. I didn’t know how to react when I read ‘catchy and deep’ sites’ names such as “Free Your Pits”. My comical brain started to imagine tons of armpits in a demonstration demanding to be free with banners on their hands written with things like this: “We want freedom and justice!” , “Free us from deodorant and razors! We have rights to grow and you, humans, have to be proud of what and how we are!” or “Love us the way you love the hair on your heads! Braid us!”.

Eva Arnaz, Indonesia's Armpit Hair Icon in the 70s

However, one of the most surprising sites that I’ve found is mentakingup2muchspaceonthetrain.tumblr.com, dedicated for all the men who spread their legs and elbows too much on public spaces. Most women, I think, since their childhood, must have at least similar experience once, but we have different ways to handle this discomfort. I choose to just tell them directly because it’s simpler and always works rather than be grumpy during the trip, secretly take pics of them and bother myself making a soc-med account as confrontation. Too much works!

I start to imagine what if the men were as creative as we are.  Most women take more time and tend to be late on dates, then, would they make such sites like, womendisrespectingmenslife.com ??

I know and believe that we, women, are probably doing these things for a good cause. I agree that women should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. But I just don’t share the enthusiasm. Excuse me for being unable to understand how dyed armpits and the ‘free flow’ can demonstrate my feminist belief, and for being not able to believe that those are the best ways to raise awareness. Now, I may sound like a granny to them, or maybe to you.